A Preview of my Upcoming Publication with Mad and Crip Theology Press

A few weeks ago, I received word that my chapter proposal had been accepted for publication in the anthology entitled Our Disability Theologies: Body-Minds and God-Talk, which is going to be published by Mad and Crip Theology Press. I feel very honoured and blessed to be given the opportunity to participate in this project. The general idea behind this anthology is people with lived experience of some kind of disability (be it mental illness or physical impairment) writing about their lived experience and how it intersects with faith. As many of you know from my recent social media posts, in 2014 I was diagnosed with severe OCD, anxiety, depression and some psychosis as a result of the severity of the OCD. During the many years that it took me to recover from my initial mental breakdown in 2012, I believed that God was telling me (good charismatic that I am) that I would one day write a book about this experience from the perspective of my faith in Christ, and that he would use this to help people going through similar things. Well, it’s not a whole book, but it is going to be a roughly 5,000-word chapter in this anthology – God is so faithful!

 The chapter is going to be entitled The Doubting Disease and the Trustworthy God: The Therapeutic Potential of Faith for Navigating OCD. I thought that I would share a brief preview of this chapter by posting the contents of my chapter proposal that has just been accepted by Mad and Crip Theology Press. My hope is that this would A. Provide some early content for those interested in the intersection of mental health and the Christian faith, and B. Hopefully get some people excited for the anthology when it is ready to go! The proposal needed to include a short personal bio and also a succinct outline of the proposed chapter. My overall argument in the chapter is that faith in Christ can be a profoundly powerful tool with which to heal from OCD (which is sometimes colloquially known as the doubting disease), and indeed any mental health challenge, in collaboration with the proper mental health professionals (psychologist, psychiatrist, etc.) If you are interested in finding out more about the work of this Canadian micro-publisher, head to their website - https://www.madandcriptheologypress.ca/. To find out more about this anthology in particular, go here - https://www.madandcriptheologypress.ca/general-9.

Here is the proposal! My prayer is that those struggling with mental health challenges, even if they seem insurmountable, would have faith that Christ is with us in the midst of it all.

Biography

I am originally from Aberdeen in the Northeast of Scotland, but emigrated to Canada in 2009. In 2012 life was as good for me as it had ever been: I felt close to God, that he had changed my life and was now using me to help others, I was in a relationship with my future wife and I had my dream job as a youth pastor at a medium sized church. In the summer of that year, however, seemingly out of nowhere, my mental health fell apart and much of my life along with it. I became so ill that I could not work, and so had to leave my dream job, and my partner had to resign from her job to care for me. After two years undiagnosed and unmedicated, having no idea what was actually happening inside me, the illness became unmanageable and I was taken by ambulance to hospital. I voluntarily stayed in the mental health ward of the local hospital for one week, where I was virtually unable to walk or feed myself. Whilst in hospital I finally received a diagnosis of severe OCD, anxiety, depression and some psychosis brought on by the severity of the OCD. I hoped that God would heal me quickly, but what followed was an eight-year journey of recovery during which God took me by the hand and helped me to trust him more deeply than would ever have been possible had I never developed OCD.

I have served as a youth pastor for over seven years and worked with marginalized populations experiencing homelessness for several years in a para-church context. I obtained a Bachelor of Theology from Alberta Bible College in 2020, an MA in Theological Studies from Wycliffe College/U of T in 2022, and am now in the first year of the PhD program at Wycliffe College/U of T working in New Testament. I have also served as an adjunct professor at Alberta Bible College. I am passionate about the intersection of mental health, academic theology and Christian spirituality.

Chapter Idea

Title - The Doubting Disease and the Trustworthy God: The Therapeutic Potential of Faith for Navigating OCD

I would begin by describing my own lived experience. My OCD takes the form of religious scrupulosity, wherein the illness works to convince me that I am going to commit grievous or scandalous sins, which then creates profound anxiety within me. I would then connect this lived experience to an academic analysis of John 10:1-18, where Jesus describes himself as the Good Shepherd, the trustworthy carer and guide of his sheep. Finally, I would use both of the above elements to articulate a spirituality of radical trust in God. I eventually became willing to risk everything to believe what both my psychologist and my God were telling me: I was not a horrendously perverse person; I was not going to harm those around me. I could begin to let go of the rituals and safety measures which were harming me. I was safe in the hands of a trustworthy God.